Self-Care Reminders From A Chef Spoon

sold out

The Chef-y

Ok. I’m not going to lie. The Chef-y spoon looks good with the AM & PM Beverage Set and after some thought, it seemed unfair to craft wooden spoons for “drink” people and leave out my crowd of culinary friends. Home cooks, galley stewards, and gourmet chefs, this spoon is for you! For everyone else, let me introduce you to the spoon of spoons and the self-care reminders embedded in its use.

If you didn’t know, a Chef Spoon is a thing. It’s akin to the pen-in-the-pocket of the business world. A chef spoon is that equivalent for the culinary world. It’s a spoon you carry on your person, and its star quality, comes from its versatility. It can be used for tasting, cooking, plating or serving. Think of it as the humble kitchen tool that is always at the ready. A work horse on the line… But there is another reason I like it. All those things represent something more personal and more human. They embody the best parts about life; parts worthy of the reminder that sometimes in the pursuit of wellness, one must first thwart despair to make room for deliciousness. Are you ready?

Tasting, cooking, plating, and serving…

To taste life is like touching joy or pain. It’s a feeling. Something the human condition understands on an innate level. It’s emotional, intuitive, and expressive even if indescribable. But cooking however is physical. It’s our human capacity pushing back on the conditions of our environment meaning we, as living beings, can physically change space and circumstance through action. If I don’t stir the pot, the sauce is going to thicken and burn… Cooking is a conscious reminder that we have the ability to be change. The act of serving then brings us to the precipice of that change. (I know I skipped plating but bear with me.) Being of service is defined by having a sense of purpose and when you know you can make a difference, you become empowered by having a choice. That choice positions us on the forefront of decisions which directly influence those around us. One’s contribution is an amplification of personal efficacy, impacting immediate spaces and corroborating oneself as a source of spread whether it’s love, hate, or even a virus. So frequently we forget this, as I think at times we identify as far removed from “mattering”. We give up and settle on the default version of ourselves and never stop to think about how personal initiative (or lack there of) affects the well-being of both individual and community. We are connected you and I, even if only by a ripple, but a ripple nonetheless, and not to be ignored. Lastly, let’s go back to plating. This is the creative genius of your will to choose… Plating for a chef is the vision of spirit. It’s the manifestation of an idea come to life. It’s the bloom, the fruit of all fertilizer, the nurture that we can define as self-care. What’s on the plate is a series of choices and personal agency that collectively represent one’s commitment to “caring”. It’s the f#cks you have to give or perhaps more frequently, the ones you don’t. The plate is a taste of how you’ve been treating yourself, and indirectly, how you might be treating others . Have you been paying attention? Do you give a care? Why or why not? What’s driving your behavior?

This post is not to imply that everyone needs to be a chef to create good for the world. It’s just a little reminder that everyday life holds opportunities to improve the quality of the one we’re living. Ditch the paper plates and pull out the fine china. Try something different for the sake of curiosity. Dive into the details of everyday things and you might awaken yourself to a new sense of purpose; adding flavor to an otherwise bland landscape. It is said that we eat with our eyes but how many moments pass in as bland or bitter? How much of our lives taste processed or mundane? A settling for the status quo… a life without spice…

But satisfaction doesn’t come from lavishness. I think it comes by connecting with our human experience… recognizing we are the source of creativity, and to truly understand that, means we can change whatever task lies ahead. I wonder sometimes if it’s not that we feel powerless to take things on, but rather we just don’t have a clear vision for ourselves so we don’t understand how to tackle our wants, fulfill our desires, and adjust the setting on our primal default. The overwhelm of things gives way to inaction, and powerlessness is one of the fruits. What I like about cooking is I get to explore those things. I can taste the fruit. Add some sugar until it begins to taste sweet. Satisfying cravings is my adventure sport where I get to know the depths of my complacency. I can develop recipes for the areas where my life is lacking, and cater to both moments of nourishment and flavor. Being able to provide myself the right mix of ingredients satiates the discontent. It helps quell the frustrations, expectations, and projections of life tasting less than delicious. It’s also the drive that keeps me following curiosity. Instead of finding fault on the menu, I remember I can creating my own. I can cook my own meals, plating them, and even serving them so those around me can get a taste of my recipe, my version, my vision for a good life. It’s not a force feeding. There’s no need for a food fight. It’s just a reminder that kindness is merely at hand, and a chef spoon helps me extend it. It’s a humble spoon, but one of utility that graciously enables care.

I thought my thing was food. I thought pursuing a culinary career was the passion that would ignite my inner spirit and keep me safe from episodes of despair. Unfortunately it has not, and I visit depression just like many of you likely do. But what pulls me out of those periods isn’t my job, or my partner, or exotic travels you may have seen on my socials. Those are all great distractions for alleviating my mental health for a time but the thing that sustains in the long-term is art. Carving spoons is creative, as is the plating of my meals, or the pressing of flowers, or baking bread. These joys all began as small wonders that I’ve been chasing ever since. It’s been a journey of self-discovery that started with humble beginnings. I would never have believed you if you told me 10 years ago I’d swap my love of food, for a love of utensils but here we are… And it’s not a swap really. It’s an extension. One I enjoy sharing with you, because it fills me with purpose. I no doubt believe you too have something worth sharing even if you don’t feel it yet. I also believe it remains important that you find. We need that thing. We need it for the both of us. I want kindness to ripple cause I know with it carries a tide of wellness… So go explore and get curious. You’ll find it. Go on now. Get!

See what I mean? They look good together. I wasn’t lying…;)

Understanding Senior Isolation and Ways to Prevent It

Hey Ya’ll,

I might be moving forward with a life-after-caregiving but that doesn’t mean there aren’t still millions of folks navigating what remains a difficult journey. Luckily I have a new guest blogger to introduce you to today. Christian Worstell is a health and lifestyle writer living in Raleigh, NC and he is here with us to shed some light on the pains of senior isolation. He is a seasoned writer and has been doing freelance work for over 15 years and I am so grateful for his deep dive into this topic. As someone that lived in relative isolation as the result of caring for my parents through their illnesses, I can attest to the concerns facing those living a lifestyle of seclusion.

---

Seniors might be entering their “golden years,” but many in the elderly population find this golden time diminished by an overwhelming sense of isolation that can put their health, well being, and longevity at risk. The effects of this isolation can be avoided or reversed, but first, you must be able to detect the symptoms your loved one may be facing. This article outlines some of the causes, risks, and signs of senior isolation as well as some ways to prevent it from occurring.

What Is “Senior Isolation?”

Senior isolation occurs when an elderly individual becomes distanced from his or her interpersonal networks or groups. This can take the form of isolation that is psychological or physical, and it can leave seniors feeling as if they have lost their place in the community. The number of seniors that experience such feelings is substantial. In fact, a recent study revealed that nearly a third of respondents between 50 and 80 years old reported often feeling isolated or alone. 

How Isolation Occurs

You might think that being a senior makes you more prone to social engagement, given the fact that many senior citizens have retired from full-time work and can take more time for activities with friends and families. Unfortunately, though, the reality is quite different. Senior citizens often face issues of reduced mobility as they age, which might limit their ability to get out and partake in the activities they once enjoyed. Their social circles also can begin to diminish; in addition to their friends succumbing to age, illness and death, many elderly adults also live at great distances from their extended families, which makes regular contact or social engagement more challenging. Some seniors have the advantage of a caregiver who might regularly attend to cooking or cleaning, but these caregivers are usually not equipped to be a full-time, live-in companion.

Risks of Isolation

The danger is that this isolation can reap a direct impact on a senior’s health. For example, the depression that can result from such isolation can contribute to an overall downturn in health, and the repercussions can be even more far-reaching. In fact, a recent study found that seniors who experienced isolation were more likely to experience longer periods of hospitalization and were also more likely to die sooner than those who did not report such feelings.

 Signs of Isolation

Signs that your loved one might be suffering from isolation include:

• A sudden lack of interest in activities a senior once loved

• The emergence of new habits such as smoking or excessive drinking

• Sullen, hostile, or reclusive behavior

• Drastic weight loss

 If you see such behaviors in your loved one, it is time that you explore some options to address their situation.

Prevention

Here is the good news: the impact of senior isolation can be easily reversed. You can help by simply engaging more with your loved one and encouraging them to do the things they love. Reversing or preventing the negative effects of isolation can be accomplished through a few simple steps:

 Determine the Factors

Consider the main factors contributing to your senior’s sense of isolation and then seek means to address each of these factors. For example, if a senior is struggling to find a new place in his community, help them find groups, clubs, or activities that they might enjoy.

Make Your Loved One Feel Valuable

Find tasks or responsibilities your loved one can take on that make them feel they are valued and important.

 Check-in

Perhaps the easiest of all, make a commitment to check in on your loved one frequently. This doesn’t have to mean a flight once a month across the country, but a standing phone call or note in the mail might provide your senior with the consistency and support to make them feel they are still vital to the larger world.

 Awareness is the Beginning

With the ever-growing number of Baby Boomers entering their senior years, being aware of the issue of senior isolation has never been more prevalent. Recognizing the signs, however, and taking steps to seek solutions to such feelings of isolation can help keep those in their golden years going strong for many more to come.

---

If I can add a personal note to this post it’s the question of quality of life. After watching the struggles my parents faced while attempting to remain independent and at home, I can’t help but wonder why there is so much resistance when it comes to assisted living communities. The financial restraints are of course an important consideration, but if you have an affordable option in your area I would encourage you to investigate the possibility. The opportunity to participate in a social environment cannot be understated. It’s good for the mind and good for the soul. We all need connection in our lives so if you or a loved one are living alone as the years are winding down, don’t be afraid to explore a more communal environment. You might be pleasantly surprised for a healthy social adventure that’s still ahead.

Holding Space For The Nothingness

What's truly depressing about a the lack-luster life is that so many are living it.  Days like a run-on sentence, leading us to believe whatever we choose because we lack the human connections that help challenge our mental dialogue.  I keep questioning why?  What ill-fated sharp turn was taken onto the path of nothingness?  Or was it even a turn at all?  Maybe arriving at nowhere was just a course that was set; a sail hoisted by someone or something without much communication of how or why? And yet here we are, together at nowhere, living isolated in the village of suffering.  An army of nothings void of our something...  

In the wake of all that's depressing I find myself annoyed at the self-help community. I'm hung-up on Anthony Bourdain, the Parkland School shooting, Nia Wilson's murder, my mom's death...  I'm emotionally coping with my father's dementia, my unemployment, and knowing that soon, our dog will have to be put down.  I can keep going with sob stories but that's not my point. We all have hardships and it's a disservice to the human condition to line them up in comparison.  Everyone is hurting.  Our friends are hurting.  And more than anything, our relationships are hurting. This pain has never been more visible than in convenient statements like "thinking of you".   Our lifelines have been reduced to lip-service as if sending "thoughts and prays with love and light" was somehow enough? 

Surely we recognize these statements do not suffice but more than anything it's telling how we lack emotional capacity for others.  What's worse, is that we have given-up on the cause.  We've stopped trying to effectively connect and diminish our discomforts by mindless scrolling.  We occasionally pause for words of convenience leaving benign messages like "sending love", content with ourselves and our broadcast of care.  But the truth is, those voices and those prays; they are just noise. It's just clutter in the ether for that desperate person to sift through.  

Adding to the volume doesn't help the person searching for ears that listen.  These drive-by comments perpetuate more hardship.  If you don't have time, then yeah, just scroll.  And if you don't know what to say, just say that! Treating discomfort as something to push past as quickly as possible steals space from recovery and robs us of connection and knowing ourselves through others.  We need to stop treating depression as a problem to hurry  past and rather dig-in some and explore the roots of where the nothingness lives.  We need to explore the bottom and understand how pain is stabilized and get familiar with the things that hold it in place.  Ignoring this only compounds the emotional debt.

Making spaces... Something from nothing.

Not everyone can move on and not everyone wants to; at least, not yet...  That voice of pain has fallen on deft ears and the whirl of society races leaving many chasing recovery which is not recovery.  Chasing anything is not rest and this systemic push to move-on is eroding the fibers that connect us in the human experience. The rush to move past sadness is falsely conditioning cultural attitudes by implying that "evolving" is somehow more important than being... 

My own wanderings through the nothingness have me bound to believe that everyone craves someone that understands.  The soul of humanity is tethered to personal connections and therefore we have a responsibility to foster opportunities that bring us together. And as much as we likely don't hold the answers for others but we can still hold space for them.  Space to grieve, space for despair, space to explore pain without judgement... Sometimes you just need space in order to connect; a moment of quiet so your something can be heard.

I'll be holding space for some spoon carving therapy at The Guild this Saturday.  The class is an introduction to carving but my hope is that it evolves into an introduction to community.  I  have big dreams for starting a carving club and what that could mean for communities everywhere.  It's mostly just a dream but I hear, life is but one anyway so, why not?  It's just a matter of time...

Make some to take some.