Carve Your Joy: Chirirenge Ramen Spoon Carving Workshop Returns!

Hey South Florida!

If you've been itching to experience the joy of carving your very own wooden spoon, the time has come! I'm thrilled to announce the return of the Chirirenge Ramen Spoon carving workshop at Morikami Museum and Japanese Gardens. Join me for two days of creative delight this month as we craft the ultimate slurping tool!

Event Highlights from Last Year:

Here’s a little stroll down memory lane of some good fun we had from the previous class.

Event Details:

• DATE: March 9th & 16th

• TIME: 10:00AM - 1:00pm

• PRICE: $150 + $20 material fee

• LOCATION: Morikami Museum and Japanese Gardens- 4000 Morikami Park Road, Delray Beach, FL 33446

• REGISTER: Click here!

Why Join Us:

Whether you're a seasoned carver or a first-timer, this workshop promises a uniquely good time. Discover the art of carving wooden spoons in the serene surroundings of Morikami. After the class, students have entry to the museum exhibits and gardens and can round out the day leisurely exploring the cultural grounds.

How to Enroll:

Are you ready to dive into the world of spoon carving? You can secure your spot by enrolling here. Don't miss this opportunity to learn, create, and have a fantastic time with a good ol’ crafternoon!

Gratitude to Morikami:

While I’m at it, I want to send a heartfelt thank you to Morikami Museum and Japanese Gardens for their continued support. I’m beyond grateful to be returning to this beautiful venue for another round of creativity and wooden spoon fun.

Spread the Word:

Share the excitement with your friends! I’ve been a bit slow to post news of this class thanks to being at sea for so long so I’m trying to play catch-up and could use all your support.

Can't wait to see you there, ready to carve all the joy into some new wooden ramen spoons!

Ashley

Recent Highs In Flour and Wood

I made this bread….

Hand carved wooden spoon.

And sold this spoon!

I’m leaning into a season of making. I have a lot of spoon work coming up and I’m trying my best to just enjoy the art of the practice. It’s been a while since I’ve been able to just sit with my crafts. I forget the luxury of what it means to “make time to take time.” But, with so many spoon carving classes on the horizon, I have nothing but gratitude for everything that’s in store. And when anxiety strikes and I’m feeling overwhelmed with sourcing knives, and cutting blanks, I switch to making breads where my hands can stay active but my mind can rest. So, basically, stay tuned for more post about both. Breads and spoons, breads and spoons…

You can click here if you want to get in on some spoon carving in Sebring, FL. Or if a quiet day at home is more your speed, please enjoy the bread recipe below:

Recipe

Soaker:

• 1 cup flour

• 1/2 cup water

• 1/2 cup milk

• 1 tbsp plain yogurt

Dough:

• 2 cups flour

• 1 1/4 tsp yeast

• 1 1/2 tsp salt

• 1/4 cup water

• 1 tbsp molasses

Process:

1. Combine the soaking ingredients in a large bowl and let rest for 2 to 8 hours.

2. After resting, add the additional ingredients to make the dough.

3. Mix it well so the dough starts to form and then knead it until it’s springy (10 minutes-ish? and you might use up to another cup of flour while kneading.)

4. Cover and rest for 1 hour in a clean bowl that’s been greased with oil.

5. After resting and the dough has doubled in size, punch it down and knead it again.

6. Shape the dough, and let rest another hour.

7. Preheat a dutch oven to 450F degrees.

8. Score the dough and carefully transfer it to the preheated dutch oven and bake for 25 minutes.

9. Remove the lid and reduce the temperature to 410F degrees and continue baking for 15 more minutes.

10. Carefully remove the bread from the oven and let cool before slicing.

11. Enjoy!

New Year, New Hobby?

If you’re looking to start something new in the New Year, I have a few spoon carving opportunities I’d like to bring to your attention. I’m happy to be sharing my love of carving wooden spoons at two south Florida locations in 2023 as well as a private virtual event for one lucky individual.

April 22 & 29, 2023

The first opportunity is at the Morikami Museum and Japanese Gardens where I’ll be teaching participants how to carve ramen spoons! This class is offered over two consecutive Saturdays and includes entry into their gardens. I’ve taught this class in partnership with Morikami twice now and I can assure you, it is a delight! (See photos here.) In fact, it’s become so popular over the years that we’ve added a second class to accommodate the interest. Spots are filling up so get on this while you can!

Learn to make a hand carved wooden ramen spoon.

May 6, 2023

Ok, so maybe those dates don’t work for you or you’d rather carve a mixing spoon instead of a ramen soup spoon? If that’s your vibe, then consider spending a full day with me at the Coral Springs Museum of Art where the Joy of Spoon Carving will be in full effect! This class will be geared towards individuals looking to have an art centered day exploring the woodcraft without a restrictive timeline. It will be a casual learning environment hosted in the beautiful museum space with plenty of time to hone carving skills and make connections with fellow community members.

An example of a wooden mixing spoon you can carve with me at Coral Springs Museum of Art.

Anytime, Anywhere

If neither of those options suit your New Year hobby needs, maybe I can interest you in a wooden spoon carving kit? I was cleaning out my work space and came across a set of knives I forgot I had so I put together a single kit for one lucky person. We can figure out dates for a zoom or Facebook video chat tutorial so you can get up and running on making your own spoon, but purchasing the kit will give you the tools to carve whenever you want without having to attend one of my scheduled in-person events.

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Joy of Spoon Carving Class and Kit

$178.00

Ok, that’s all for now. Hopefully 2023 will have us connecting either online or in person but either way I’m happy to connect however that looks! I’m wishing you all the good cheer for this new year, as I know many of us need a little lift as we move forward. Good luck out there and make the most it. We got this!

Luv, Ashley

Craft Is Cure

Immediately out of elbow surgery I thought about spoon carving. I was fearful that this gift of a hobby, my passion craft, my so-called therapy for so much pain in life, was suddenly something inaccessible. I didn’t think about work. I didn’t think about conquering activities for daily living. I just thought about spoons….

Sadly, carving the spoon you see pictured was harder than expected. I figured since the surgery was on my nondominant arm, I’d be able to fumble through this pretty well. And to those of you that haven’t carved a wooden spoon, you might think I’m well on my way. And sure, you are probably right. The carving and the healing; they are just going to require a bit more patience, which is a virtue I’m feeling extra short on lately.

Here’s where I’m stuck. For those of you that have been here for a while, you are more than aware that I’ve spent most the past decade in relative isolation. I spent six years as a caregiver to both my parents before they passed, and then another two years riding out Covid. What I’m truly struggling with isn’t so much the arm recovery but the time I’ve spent mostly alone (or with people that couldn’t communicate). In the past, I’ve always turned back to my hobbies. I spent the hours baking breads and carving spoons, trying to peacefully accept being “stuck” during those periods. But now feels rather exceptionally cruel. Just when I was feeling surface under my feet and some traction moving forward, I’m stuck again, and this time without my hobbies as therapy.

I’m in my third week of physical therapy and trust that with time my abilities will improve. I know I’ll regain strength and better my range of motion, even if a second surgery is required. But what do I do in the meantime? What’s the quickest cure?

“You have to make time, to take time...”

— Ashley Look

Don’t answer that! Actually, I already know what you’d say. That “in time things will get better and I need to continue to exercise patience”. Ya, I know. I know, I know! And I’m going to give myself the same advice I give everyone I’ve taught to carve a spoon or bake bread… “You have to make time, to take time!” And I will. I am… And I will finish this spoon!

Life, Loss, and Family Heirlooms

About four months into my caregiver journey I came across this piece of paper in my parents house. Its discovery was painful for so many reason. For one, my mother no longer remembered me. The Alzheimer’s had erased her memory and she no longer recognized me as her daughter. In addition to that cruelty was another sense of loss. The paper was loose. Attached to some token at one point but in discovery, it was merely scrap. Whatever treasure was to be passed down for progeny remains a mystery. The “family heirloom” in my mind is now the paper itself. It’s a modicum of memory thanks to the handwriting; her handwriting, and the awareness that the intent of posterity was cloaked in a mother’s love. I wish I knew what the heirloom was but that piece of paper has become my keepsake.

“Family Heirloom for Ashley Look 10/31/88”

— S. Look

Being thrust into the intense world of caregiving when I was just beginning to understand adulthood, forced me to explore the “value” of things. I was tasked with downsizing our family home (see photos here) and overwhelmed by the decision-making process. Sentimental value can be found in just about any item that sparks a memory and no amount of reading KonMari books will make that magically disappear. Determining worth is discriminatory and decision includes moral hazard. Over the course of my family purge I questioned if I was making mistakes. Would I regret my decisions and later be haunted by the legacy of items no longer in my possession? Without sound guidance from my parents (my father was also suffering from dementia at the time), I was required to sift through their belongings using equal parts Ebay, personal judgement, and observations from weekly garbage days when a neighborhood truck would make the rounds picking up items left out for the trash.

Fast forward a few years and the house has been reclaimed from under the mountain of stuff, much of which was in fact trash. I saved a number of things that were obvious keepsakes and a few less than obvious treasures like the scrap paper above. But mostly I’ve held on to an awareness that the stuff we allow into our space deserves our honor and warrants the right to occupy our attention or time. Stuff is stuff, yet materialism, although fun in a moment, is often a headache later, especially when clouded by sentimentality.

I’ve thought long and hard about lineage and legacy, and the antiquity of our belongings. I’ve often wondered what I’d save of my own belongings if the house was burning down. As a “maker” my mind goes to my spoons. I’d save my work from becoming fuel as these are the things that are my legacy. They are the investments of my labor, my craftsmanship, and time represented in hand. Upon my death my Will might include a beneficiary for the spoons. They are perhaps my most important material items and why right now, I feel moved to right this. Yesterday, I lost one.

My most beloved, hand carved, Applewood spoon that I carved on a farm in Vermont which became the cornerstone of my personal brand and business. It would have been my offering as a family heirloom to the generations that follow.

If I was to leave behind a single heirloom from my life it would be/would have been this spoon. It’s on my business card, it’s my logo, it’s the only one I have refused to sell. It’s made of Applewood from an orchard in Vermont and was carved on the land where I first learned how to spoon carve, a practice that has since become my therapy. Unfortunately it took a tumble yesterday, and broke right at the neck. My brother accidentally bumped the display while moving a shelf (part of the endless house downsizing project) and in that moment knew he had destroyed something of value. Before I even knew what had happened he was alarmed with concern, approaching me with hesitation and repeating “You’re gonna kill me.” Of all the spoons to break, it was my most favorite, the one that represents so much to me…

The heart breaking remains of my most beloved personal treasure. The Applewood spoon which I personally hand carved, took a tumble and broke into two pieces right at the neck.

But of course, stuff is just stuff, and the irony lingers like a cruel reminder that loss and grief are inescapable even after you’ve made your peace. This broken spoon feels like a death in that family which I suspect many won’t understand. But losing the thing that supported me through losing my family hurts, even if it’s an inanimate object. It’s not the spoon but what the spoon represented, and the emotional relationship between hand and craft varies little from the relationship between my parents and their end of life care. It was a very long and grueling, emotional journey and I owe my sanity to spoon carving. Caregiving and end of life care are journeys of the heart, as are stories of birth. This spoon was a beginning and it’s painful to see its end.

I’ve been working on some service related content for this website. I created something for caregivers knowing they are struggling with minimal support. I’ve also created a service for posterity knowing all too well that loved ones are ephemeral. I’ve also been working towards an online spoon carving course and for whatever reason, I can’t seem to finish it. In part I think that’s because spoon carving is my self-care and so many wounds remain fresh. It’s difficult to discuss how to carve spoons when the why feels more important. How do I convey the how of “healing” when grief runs eternal? Stay tuned however because I do plan to complete it. At the heart of any spoon is the bowl, and the stress in what it carries is the neck. The irony is the reminder that it’s time to get back to it, keeping a handle on the chaos of time…

I know I can glue this spoon. It’s not the end of the world. But long story short, not everything that breaks can be fixed. Life and loss are tough pills to swallow and I’m tired of the cultural expectation to choke hardship down gracefully. It’s OK to be sad. It’s OK to be angry… It’s OK to not be OK, with or without an excuse. Feelings aren’t always rational and it’s far time we recognize that our pains are valid regardless of how they measure in comparison. Our struggles are not competitions so let’s stop pretending to keep it together because it makes others feel more comfortable. Life and loss are uncomfortable and moving on quickly enables culture to dismiss the legacies of the ones that left too soon. We should honor them with pause and revel in what remains. Heirlooms are like the architecture of one’s memory. Items aren’t special because of what they are but who they represent…

Rest in peace you heavy hearts. Rest up and take love!

Self-Care Reminders From A Chef Spoon

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The Chef-y

Ok. I’m not going to lie. The Chef-y spoon looks good with the AM & PM Beverage Set and after some thought, it seemed unfair to craft wooden spoons for “drink” people and leave out my crowd of culinary friends. Home cooks, galley stewards, and gourmet chefs, this spoon is for you! For everyone else, let me introduce you to the spoon of spoons and the self-care reminders embedded in its use.

If you didn’t know, a Chef Spoon is a thing. It’s akin to the pen-in-the-pocket of the business world. A chef spoon is that equivalent for the culinary world. It’s a spoon you carry on your person, and its star quality, comes from its versatility. It can be used for tasting, cooking, plating or serving. Think of it as the humble kitchen tool that is always at the ready. A work horse on the line… But there is another reason I like it. All those things represent something more personal and more human. They embody the best parts about life; parts worthy of the reminder that sometimes in the pursuit of wellness, one must first thwart despair to make room for deliciousness. Are you ready?

Tasting, cooking, plating, and serving…

To taste life is like touching joy or pain. It’s a feeling. Something the human condition understands on an innate level. It’s emotional, intuitive, and expressive even if indescribable. But cooking however is physical. It’s our human capacity pushing back on the conditions of our environment meaning we, as living beings, can physically change space and circumstance through action. If I don’t stir the pot, the sauce is going to thicken and burn… Cooking is a conscious reminder that we have the ability to be change. The act of serving then brings us to the precipice of that change. (I know I skipped plating but bear with me.) Being of service is defined by having a sense of purpose and when you know you can make a difference, you become empowered by having a choice. That choice positions us on the forefront of decisions which directly influence those around us. One’s contribution is an amplification of personal efficacy, impacting immediate spaces and corroborating oneself as a source of spread whether it’s love, hate, or even a virus. So frequently we forget this, as I think at times we identify as far removed from “mattering”. We give up and settle on the default version of ourselves and never stop to think about how personal initiative (or lack there of) affects the well-being of both individual and community. We are connected you and I, even if only by a ripple, but a ripple nonetheless, and not to be ignored. Lastly, let’s go back to plating. This is the creative genius of your will to choose… Plating for a chef is the vision of spirit. It’s the manifestation of an idea come to life. It’s the bloom, the fruit of all fertilizer, the nurture that we can define as self-care. What’s on the plate is a series of choices and personal agency that collectively represent one’s commitment to “caring”. It’s the f#cks you have to give or perhaps more frequently, the ones you don’t. The plate is a taste of how you’ve been treating yourself, and indirectly, how you might be treating others . Have you been paying attention? Do you give a care? Why or why not? What’s driving your behavior?

This post is not to imply that everyone needs to be a chef to create good for the world. It’s just a little reminder that everyday life holds opportunities to improve the quality of the one we’re living. Ditch the paper plates and pull out the fine china. Try something different for the sake of curiosity. Dive into the details of everyday things and you might awaken yourself to a new sense of purpose; adding flavor to an otherwise bland landscape. It is said that we eat with our eyes but how many moments pass in as bland or bitter? How much of our lives taste processed or mundane? A settling for the status quo… a life without spice…

But satisfaction doesn’t come from lavishness. I think it comes by connecting with our human experience… recognizing we are the source of creativity, and to truly understand that, means we can change whatever task lies ahead. I wonder sometimes if it’s not that we feel powerless to take things on, but rather we just don’t have a clear vision for ourselves so we don’t understand how to tackle our wants, fulfill our desires, and adjust the setting on our primal default. The overwhelm of things gives way to inaction, and powerlessness is one of the fruits. What I like about cooking is I get to explore those things. I can taste the fruit. Add some sugar until it begins to taste sweet. Satisfying cravings is my adventure sport where I get to know the depths of my complacency. I can develop recipes for the areas where my life is lacking, and cater to both moments of nourishment and flavor. Being able to provide myself the right mix of ingredients satiates the discontent. It helps quell the frustrations, expectations, and projections of life tasting less than delicious. It’s also the drive that keeps me following curiosity. Instead of finding fault on the menu, I remember I can creating my own. I can cook my own meals, plating them, and even serving them so those around me can get a taste of my recipe, my version, my vision for a good life. It’s not a force feeding. There’s no need for a food fight. It’s just a reminder that kindness is merely at hand, and a chef spoon helps me extend it. It’s a humble spoon, but one of utility that graciously enables care.

I thought my thing was food. I thought pursuing a culinary career was the passion that would ignite my inner spirit and keep me safe from episodes of despair. Unfortunately it has not, and I visit depression just like many of you likely do. But what pulls me out of those periods isn’t my job, or my partner, or exotic travels you may have seen on my socials. Those are all great distractions for alleviating my mental health for a time but the thing that sustains in the long-term is art. Carving spoons is creative, as is the plating of my meals, or the pressing of flowers, or baking bread. These joys all began as small wonders that I’ve been chasing ever since. It’s been a journey of self-discovery that started with humble beginnings. I would never have believed you if you told me 10 years ago I’d swap my love of food, for a love of utensils but here we are… And it’s not a swap really. It’s an extension. One I enjoy sharing with you, because it fills me with purpose. I no doubt believe you too have something worth sharing even if you don’t feel it yet. I also believe it remains important that you find. We need that thing. We need it for the both of us. I want kindness to ripple cause I know with it carries a tide of wellness… So go explore and get curious. You’ll find it. Go on now. Get!

See what I mean? They look good together. I wasn’t lying…;)

A Guide For Life During Lockdown

What-up folks!

Isolation issues got you down? If the stay-at-home orders, quarantines, and and all things social distancing have created a blur of your life, fear not! I have cracked the code on tracking time and have some suggestions for how you can stay organized while staying at home. During my five years of housebound caregiving, I learned a bit about defining structure when time seems irrelevant. The Wednesdayness of days becomes a struggle when there’s no real beginning or end and that’s what this post will address. The structure below helped me conceptualize each week with an element of flow and thereby removing that sense of stagnation and monotony. It’s not rocket science but it still took me about two and a half years to find a formula that worked. What I realized was every day observed through the eye of time was inconsequential. What made a difference was having a rhythm to each week and applying that rhythm cyclically in the face of time. This is what restored my sense of purpose over the long term. I’m sure most of you don’t want to wait two plus years to figure-out a personal strategy so I’m gonna share my tips below so you can immediately attempt to protect your sanity. I’ve provided sections for how I like to think about both life and fitness within the days of the week, and then I cycle through the themes week after week. And please don’t mistake this as some productivity challenge or something. It’s not a tool meant to achieve everything on your list. It’s just a different perspective for organizing the day to day which for me, was the thing that kept my mental health intact for years when I couldn’t leave the house.

The Big Picture

Before we jump into the meat of this post, let’s get clear on one thing real quick. We all need to calm the F down. To think anyone can simply make a sweeping adjustment of lifestyle on a dime is absurd. We aren’t even a month into this Coronalife train wreck and I can sense the communal freak-out of everyone scrambling to keep life somewhat “normal”. Stop doing that! Just S T O P. Nothing about this is normal and you are wasting time living in denial. Although this might seem like a slow moving car crash as we watch it unfold day by day, in truth it’s a sudden and dramatic change that deserves a significant pause to check for life-altering wounds. Anyone that’s experienced whiplash knows, a pain in the neck can be a significant blow, even when the neck’s not broken. So, rather than dive into online work meetings and the home-schooling curriculum, take a good hard look at your situation and determine the safety and security of your family unit. Create a budget and assess your resources. And resources are not exclusively financial. Does someone in your household cook? Food security is important right now as we all try and limit our trips outside the home. Who’s the tech guru? Is there someone in the house that easily understands computers? (Might be your kid.) How about cleaning, or home repair, or just best at not touching their face? When you really start assessing your situation, different strengths and weakness will emerge that will help guide your momentum forward but it’s important to take in the big picture. You need that macro perspective of your new normal before thinking about thriving in it. Quarantine and social distancing measure might very well be here for months, if not longer, so I encourage you all to take the necessary time to asses your situation so you can, with a rational mind, make smart decisions.

The Day To Day

And now for your sanity…

I know many of you are falling victim to the nothingness of life in isolation and this was a huge problem for me until I figured out a schedule that helped me manage the time. I’m now acutely aware of how external accountability was the force behind everything I did prior to becoming a caregiver. We hold ourselves to deadlines, social norms, and even hygiene imposed by our relationships to others. But stripped of that external influence, it’s quickly apparent that we often take those things for granted as well as having little regard for personal standards. And now, even our self-discipline is being publicly questioned as phone surveillance highlights our (in)ability to follow social-distancing guidelines. Perhaps this is just proof that we are our own worst company… Escaping the house might be the craving for fresh air, or essential needs, or perhaps it’s the very real threat of abuse, in which case, you need to stop reading my suggestions and click here. But, another significant itch to break free from lockdown, is to relieve the frustrations around the nothingness. Seeking external stimulation is a way to stave off boredom because life has become either dissatisfying or uninteresting. But good news! Boredom is mental. With a little bit of structure and personal accountability you can beat the boredom and escape the nothingness! Seriously, addressing your mental health right now is the key to not only survive this pandemic but potentially thrive within the circumstances. You need to adapt and you need to do it quickly because we are all counting on you. The whole world is literally counting on YOU to uphold social order by social distancing and it’s time for us all to get our heads on straight and do our part.

Below are my suggestions for how to go about making your day to day more manageable. It’s one thing to say we “should” all become full-time homebodies but seeing as this is new for most folks it’s difficult without some sort of how-to outline So, here’s an outline. I can’t stress it enough when I say the structure needs to work for you so adapt it as necessary. It’s also worth noting that I prefer this structure, because it’s dynamic and changes every day unlike many of the suggested schedules I have seen floating around online. The feeling of flowing or having a rhythm to the week is important in regards to time and a schedule that offers the same structure repeatedly is going to lead right back to boredom. This structure is cyclical with its themes so it does repeat, however it requires unique brain work each day thereby supporting your mental health with a dose of self-care. You Ready?

Mondays-

Life: Business/ Administrative Tasks

Fitness: Cardio

Life:

This is the mail, the bills, paperwork, phone calls, etc... All the stuff that's keeping the household afloat. It's all the stuff of modern nightmares that feels overwhelming while it sits on a desk or counter-top somewhere keeping the clutter alive. I find dealing with this administrative type stuff frustrating and equally time consuming but it's important. It’s the last thing I typically choose to work on which is why I put it right up front, so I can get it out of the way and put the dread behind me for the rest of the week. Nonetheless, tackling this stuff is the flashlight for darkness. When you move through these tasks, you get a good picture of your state of affairs, allowing you to consciously move forward from there. And it really doesn’t matter right now if you are working from home or a stay-at-home mom. We are all stay-at-home people right now, trying our best to keep some level of normalcy. Attending to the tedious stuff and staying organized will help keep your situation healthy. Take the time to open and sort the mail. Take the time to create the zoom account, do your taxes, or download that delivery app. Make the day your personal administrative day and use it to manage the household as a business. There are a lot of moving parts right now but the most important thing you can do is get a grip with your housebound life. As the week unfolds and administrative affairs start to pile back up, make a note to address those things next Monday. Avoid the trap of dealing with this stuff throughout the week because it will consume you, you’ll get bored and then you’ll start ignoring it. That’s when things fall through the cracks. Just stay the course and I promise you that week over week, you’ll regain a sense of control and feel better about sheltering in place.

Fitness:

When it comes to physical health I like to make Mondays my cardio day. Why? Because similarly to turning on the light, cardio is the equivalents of turning on the engine. It’s the beginning of the week and I like the idea of firing-up the “machine”. Think of your body as your work computer. You start it up on Monday and typically leave it on till Friday. That initial surge of power is what boots your computer and I found it helpful to think of the body in the same way. If I can get the blood pumping early in the week, it sets me up for success. I call that a win! And when you “win” Monday you pretty much win the week. And I know how everyone hates Monday but as the days pass, and you find yourself living in the perpetual Wednesday, Mondays will start to taste a little bit sweet just knowing that they mark the definitive start to the next cycle. Oh, and speaking of machines… don’t forget to start your car!

Tuesdays-

Life: Research/ Learning Tasks

Fitness: Upper Body

Life:

I designate Tuesdays for research type stuff. By this I mean I take the time to “figure-out” the things. This might look like conducting an inventory, or Youtubing how to fix the dryer, scouring Pinterest for a new recipe, or ugh…researching unemployment benefits?! The investigative process also eats a way at our time and often keeps us from improving our lives in some way because we don’t prioritize the chance to learn. Researching things takes time and is an essential component in educating ourselves. If you want to learn the thing, you have to study the thing or at least give it some amount of research to develop comfortability.

So… Tuesday! If you had a successful Monday then you likely embraced some new information. For example, just because you downloaded the Robinhood app to start day trading or joined the Postmate Fleet to offer local deliveries doesn’t always mean your comfortable using them. So why not take the day to schedule in some learning. Or why not take the day to figure out how you are going to respond to all those emails? Or pay those bills? Unless you’re a healthcare worker or city manager of some kind, you can afford to slow down. Panicking won’t get you very far. It might even get you hurt so just slow down, take a deep breath and explore your options when it comes to doing X, Y, and Z.

Fitness:

Why should you do upper body on Tuesdays? Because it’s still early in the week. Obligations remain heavy at this time, meaning, you still have a lot to do before you get to the weekend. For me that feels like “weight” on my shoulders so I just go with it. Tuesdays in my mind are still an uphill battle and I just put that concept to work physically with attention to my upper body on that day. It might sound strange but this logic works for me. For the first time ever I felt a sense of… alignment? It sounds crazy but something about matching my body-work to the cultural work flow really meshed. And the best part is eliminating the “what am I gonna do today” headache. Previously, I would spend mental energy developing my “workout strategy”, somehow trying to devise my exercise plan, only to feel exhausted by what I was going to do, rather than the exercises themselves. This concept removed the issue of what. If its Tuesday, then I know I’m doing arms. I can drop and do some push-ups, or squeeze in some dips, and then move on to other things more deserving of my mental space.

Wednesday-

Life:Core Activities

Fitness: Abs & Back

Life:

Wednesday Shemednsday…

It feels like everyday is a Wednesday right now. But, this is why I think Wednesday deserves a little love. It’s the center of the week so why not make it the center of your life? Hear me out…

If Wednesday is the center, then it also implies balance and with so much talk of work/life balance, even before the Rona, why not let Wednesday become that day for things you love? For me this consists of spoon carving, bread making, pressing flowers, and other crafty endeavors that reflect my passions. They are only hobbies but with the consistent nurturing of them, they have grown into much more. Spoon carving has since grown into a small business and bread baking helped me connect with new friends through the Full Moon Baking Club. Neither of these things saved anyone’s life but my own, and I mean that in the sense that they gave me a creative outlet in which to enjoy the monotony of time stuck at home. I no longer make excuses for why I haven’t gotten to the fun projects on my back burner. I just do them on Wednesdays, intentionally allowing them a spot on my calendar, smack dab in the middle of everything, right where they belong.

The emptiness of this time will consume you without a plan that considers activities you find fulfilling. (Hashtag retirement?) It’s important that you hang-on to the things you love or else you could lose yourself to the tedium of routine. This entire schedule attempts to eliminate much of that dreariness but it also offers a chance for you to dive deeper into those forgotten favorites, and reshape priorities that better align with your personal values. That’s something worth exploring and you should take advantage of it while the time is available.

Fitness:

I’m guessing you know where this is headed. Core work! Yep. If you’re in the middle of the week, work the middle of yourself, and that can include the abs and back exercises of your choice. Personally, I don’t think it matters much which specific exercises you do so long as you do them. Again, for me the hard part was determining what to work-out and with that out of the way, I am free to just do the sets that pop into mind. It’s also fairly easy to recall the previous weeks exercises since I only do them one day a week and therefore switch it up a bit to keep things interesting. But this is not rocket science. This is literally as dumbed down as it gets because the whole point is not to over think it. It’s not that hard to come-up with a couple core exercises you can do at home. You got this.

Thursday-

Life: Community Outreach

Fitness: Lower Body

Life:

Community Outreach seems a bit weird in the age of social distancing but you’d be surprised how much of it remains. Remember all those emails you opened on Monday? Well, today’s your day to respond if you haven’t all ready. Give yourself this time to connect with the necessary people in your world. This is you being proactive. Send out the memo, schedule the appointment, make the phone call, do the launch… This is all stuff you are pushing out and into the world to give it shape on your own terms. If Mondays are the defensive days where you respond to what been coming “in”, then Thursdays are for playing offense and the ball’s in your court. Take your shot. Push your energy out. Exercise your own leadership by making things happen, especially on Thursdays!

Fitness:

At this point we are over the hump. If you can imagine the work week as this mountain and Wednesday was the peak, Thursday has us coming down the other side. And although the stress of that uphill battle is behind you, you still need to make it down the mountain without collapsing. For me, that means leg day! Squats, lunges, what have you. It’s a good day for leg work because again, the alignment is there to flow with the rhythm of the week, allowing for some relative ease in the process. Why swim upstream when you can float down it? It’s just easier. And I don’t know about you guys but I’m not in the mood for more challenges at the moment. Life is hard enough and I’m just trying to keep all the components intact. Go with the flow…

Friday-

Life: Clean-out/ Organize/Downsize

Fitness: Stretch

Life:

You are so close to the weekend at this point that chances are slim you have the mental capacity to deal with anything that feels “work” related. So why not just accept that? Even if you’ve managed to keep your job, working from home has caused everything to slow down. I don’t see the harm in accepting life for how it is. So rather than pretend you’re going to actually do work on this day, I would encourage you to switch gears and focus on making your house feel homey. If your gonna be stuck mostly inside, you might as well make the space comfortable. Spend some time organizing or tiding up. This doesn’t mean going on an epic purge, all Marie Kondo style. That actually sounds like a lot of f’ing work. Instead, take the day to focus on the weekend. Get your place ready for some downtime. I know many of you utilize the weekends for chores and such but that actually destroys the integrity of the weekend. And we’ll get to more on that in a minute but for now, allow yourself the virtue of easing into the next phase of your week which ideally is slower, less productive, and a well deserved break, in order to recover and start again. That being said, I find you must take initiative to protect those days or it doesn’t happen and the best way I’ve found to do that, is by being proactive before it arrives. Anticipate the weekend! Make it something to look forward to regardless of not being able to go anywhere.

Fitness:

Oh snap! It’s the home stretch so obviously, stretching is on the menu. Easing into the weekend with power lifting or some intense cardio just doesn’t do it for me. I’m more inclined to run to happy hour than run for health and that’s just how it it is. Can’t say that I’m proud of that but I’m also over pretending I’m anyone different than who I am. I’m not someone that’s in love with working out. It’s more like maintenance. It’s just something I have to do like vacuuming or paying bills and this strategy not only makes the whole idea of “fitness” more tolerable for me, it has also enabled me to stick with a “program” that works. I hate to even call it a “program” because I just made it up out of the desperate need to find a routine that both worked at home and my 10,000 excuses. And, if you are anything like me, you might have similar tendencies and to that I say, grab the wine and get on your mat! Take a sip, lay down and then roll around loosening all the tight spots. This doesn’t have to be a full blown yoga routine. It’s just a little somethin somethin to close-out the week with a small nod to health before the weekend debauchery!

Saturday-

Life: No Rules

Fitness: No Rules

Debauchery say wha?! Yeah. Pretty much…

Life:

Ok, here’s the thing about Saturdays. Remember above, where I said tasks and chores were ruining the integrity of the weekend? Well here’s why… When you neglect to protect a place for rest in your schedule then you always live from the place of “catch-up”. Meaning, if you always have something scheduled then you leave yourself no room to go back. You’re on a constant cycle of churn and burn and either exhaustion or boredom will squash even the best intentions. However, if you have a day that serves as a “free space”, that gives you an entire day to catch-up on anything you missed during the week. There is a difference between scheduling tasks that should get done, verse choosing tasks because you have the time. Although they may look similar in action, the difference is in the feeling when pursuing activities as a choice. The freedom of being able to say yes or no is the privileged you have over protecting your mental health. You can’t do all the things, all the time. To ignore your own desires, is you giving away your power to influence your environment. I’m not saying to ignore pressing needs cause again, you have the freedom to address them if you choose. I’m just suggesting you make room to explore your energetic slack. It’s not only ok to give yourself a break, it’s important to acknowledge the monotony of life right now has its own grind and can wear you down.

Fitness:

Dude. It’s no rule. If I were you, I’d up the ante on indulgence! Make cinnamon rolls and drink a beer, all while binging on Netflix in pajamas. Let go of regimen, just for the day, and relish in the chance to explore what you fancy. Take the day off so you can get back to the workweek recovered and with the strength for self-discipline. That discipline part is an increasingly important component in adapting to our new normal, so use this day as a life exhale. If you missed some exercises from earlier in the week then go for it, if you’re game. But if not, then don’t do it, and don’t feel guilty. The best part of this style of “cyclical” training is that you can theoretically skip an entire week of exercise but convince yourself you really only skipped a day. How ya like that logic? It’s good right?! ;)

Sunday-

Life: Prep Day

Fitness: Head Space

Life:

This is for whatever needs to happen to prepare for the coming week. For me this includes things like laundry, groceries, cleaning any common areas that got destroyed in my Saturday bender… I also tend to bake a bread, or make a big meal that will provide for a few days of leftovers. Most this stuff you could defined as chores but they’re the kind of things that prepare you for a strong start, rolling into the next cycle. A little prep on Sundays can go a long way to starting the week out on the right foot.

It’s depressing to think we lost our sense of purpose just because we’ve lost our jobs. That’s really just a misunderstanding. By redefining your schedule to reflect your needs, absent of the clock is a step towards reconnecting with your values. Jobs are not an indication of self worth. That’s just the mind f*ck and the confusion, depressions and paralysis you’re feeling in the shake-up is just the bangover between now and what’s next. The best thing we can do during the interim, is prepare ourselves for hard times but it’s hard to prepare anything without a plan. So take the time… Take the day to think about what you’re going to tackle tomorrow so when you get-up in the morning you have the beginnings of an action plan.

Fitness:

Meditate!

Yeah… I don’t do it either but that doesn’t mean it’s not a good idea. However, if that’s not your thing there are lots of other ways to use your brain. My go-to is books. I like reading and typically do so at night before bed which means I usually fall asleep on the same paragraph every night. I really only get ahead by taking some time on Sundays to read on the couch. Twenty minutes turns into two hours and next thing you know, I’m so sucked into the story, that I’m staying up all night just to finish. I’ve also gotten back into journaling. I’ve gone through phases where I’d keep a journal, mostly while traveling, or going through a break-up or some situation that I need help processing. Journaling helps me get the drama out so I could move on with whatever. And ya know what? This appears to be one of those times. I don’t know about you all but my mind has been racing with thoughts for weeks now and it’s nice to have a place to park them other than Facebook or Instagram. My point is it’s helpful to have a constructive distraction. Be it a puzzle, a book, or even a bath; engage in something that offers a mental escape.

Alright, I know this is beyond long and I’m trying to wrap this up while the pandemic is still relevant. But before I leave you to digest my mental vomit, I want to stress the importance of ADAPTABILITY during this time. We are not in a healthcare crisis or an economic crisis or whatever type of institutional crisis they are gonna throw at us. We are in a national state of emergency which means chaos is on all fronts. If you go to sleep now it’s going to be hard to catch-up so I urge you all to stay aware of the pace of change even if you don’t feel it directly. The lag in our cultural mentality is at threat with our cultural conscience. The fact that the virus is rolling out in waves means some parts of the country won’t understand the severity of the crisis until well after some states have peaked. The peak is not the end. Every state will have to come down the other side and just as we’ve seen some states lag in response, we’ll likely also experience fledgling anticipation to get back to life before it’s safe. The point of this post is to provide you with some tools for how to be ok with being home for potentially a very long time. It’s one thing for officials to tell us that staying home is in our best interest but without tools and coping mechanisms, I fear we’re set-up for failure. I am not an expert on surviving a pandemic but I have a lot of experience to adapting to sudden and isolating change so, these are my tips. I hope they are helpful and I hope some of you have tips of your own that you’d be willing to share. People are going to struggle with this and their success directly influences our ability to move beyond this virus. Share your thoughts! Share your feelings. This is a time to share and connect and guide each other with compassion. Comparisons don’t matter. Race, gender, class… none of that matters. This is a human experience; one with the largest unifying opportunity we might ever experience in our lifetime. It will include anger and grief, and perhaps most importantly vulnerability. How we treat each other during this time will shape our culture for years to come. I’m begging you to act with your heart.

Take love you good people!

New Moon, New Spoon, And New Workshops Coming Soon!

sold out

Copper Rivet Serving Spoon

$143.00

I can’t exactly call this spoon new as it’s been kicking around my shop for well over a year now but I’m so glad it remained because it is gorgeous! (Sometimes they become compost.)  It started out as a demo spoon.  It would accompany me to different workshops and events where I would carved here and there to show various techniques and let students explore the hardness of wood.  This Copper Rivet Serving Spoon is made from walnut wood and is a much harder wood than I usually provide for carving workshops.  Having this on hand helped educate budding spoon carvers around the hardness as a character of wood.

Anyway, this spoon has seen some hands. I can think of at least four individuals that spent considerable time with it, let alone the numerous others that whittled shavings over many months.  With time it developed its charm.  I wish I had some before photos because this piece was perpetually an ugly duckling.  The copper rivets were experimental.  I figured that drilling into this spoon was harmless because no one was attached and if things went south, no big deal.  Even with the added bling the ugly duckling prevailed.  But as many of us experienced in our youth, a little time allows us to grow into our own unique beauty.  Gouges got sanded down reminiscent of healing scares that eventually fade.  We are all a bit awkward as teens but that gradually disappears and we emerge with more refinement and a sense of maturity. A spoon is no different.  It just takes time…

Time transformed this spoon into a remarkable piece of kitchen art and it would be misleading to call it my own.  It’s everyone’s.   A community spoon, with a large bowl and sturdy handle, ready to be of service…  It was fostered beautifully by the generous hands that took the time to add influence, helping to cultivate the design.  I can 100% say this wouldn’t have happened without you!

And speaking of you, I have a couple of workshops coming soon!  The specific details are still coming together but for those of you in the New England area you might want to note the following dates:

October 17th & 18th- Blithewold Mansion, Gardens and Arboretum in Bristol, RI

I’ll be hosting a Grain & Grain workshop which will include two days of carving and baking.  I taught this class here many moons ago but I’ll be revisiting this fall with a fresh twist. Rather than baking bread as we’ve done in the past, we are going to be making Dutch Babies! You know I love me some Dutch Babies so just imagine my excitement when I got the spin on this request!  And ummm… have you seen the gardens at Blythwold? The location alone should be enough to catch your interest.  It’s absolutely beautiful and it’s a great privilege to be going back after so many years.

October 25th & 26th- The Plant Work Shop, Orleans, MA

Nothing like rolling off one high right? A week later I’ll be heading back to Cape Cod and teaching the Joy of Carving at one of the most organically crafty studios on the east coast!  The Plant Work Shop hosts all kinds of creative events and to be part of their fall line-up again is a dream come true!  This year we are switching things up a little with the first half happening on Friday evening and finishing up on Saturday morning, leaving room for participants to linger as necessary. The real joy of carving is the journey in recognizing your own skill to craft a useful tool from your own hands.  It’s a personal process and lends itself well as an escape from the modern distractions. Having the opportunity to spill into the next day without strict time restraints will help support the meditative qualities carving bestows while fostering a casual social environment to make some new friends. 

Long story short, these workshops are going to be fun!  Keep an eye out for tickets through both Blithewold and the Plant Work Shop as space is limited to 10 participants at each location. You can also check back here as I will continue to update you with more details on my events page as things come together.

See you soon New England!

The Joy Of Carving

I've been thinking lots lately about why I love spoon carving and it always comes back to time.  When I sit down with a piece of wood, I lose myself to the process and for a few moments, or hours really, I become consumed with the task of turning a random piece of wood into a functional kitchen tool.  Wood which is little more than debris or even compost, has a life still full of potential if just given the chance.  And the shape of spoons are quite forgiving. One doesn't need to be an artist to rough-out something functional. Maybe even beautiful...  You just have to go at it and keep at it.  It will get there.  As the time passes and the form begins to take shape, a spoon will emerge along with parts of oneself; parts you might not have realized you've been hiding.

“Make time to take time.”

A little hand carved, wooden jam spoon and spread knife.

The spoons aren't all perfect.  Rarely do they begin as true love, but again, time has its own way with magic and as with most things, it seems to heal the pains that came before it. Frequently it's towards the end, after a spoon is carved and sanded that I give it the appreciation it so deserves.  A little bit of oil helps preserve the wood and reveal the grain.  Similar to scares, the grain and gouges tell a story and almost immediately I realize how overrated perfection is. My spoons are misshapen  The handles are crooked and the balance is sometimes wonky.  But when has life ever come with an easy grip that's perfectly balanced?  Rarely are our stories that simple. 

Small, hand carved, Wenge wood spoon with brass peen. Cracked but not broken...

“There is no greater joy than that which you make for yourself.”

If you are looking for something quick then perhaps carving is not for you.  But if you are trying to slow down, working though something painful, or need an escape while resting in place, then  go make something  designed to serve you.  It doesn't have to be a spoon. Make something you want. There is no greater joy than that which you make for yourself and there's no better time spent than the hours investing in you. The journey lives in the process and your story might benefit from a reminder. If you slow down and listen, time will tell you everything.   

Next workshop: May 12th, 2018; Ticket details here. 

Life Updates- 2017/2018

It's been a while since I've done an update but let it be known that no news is good news!  At the close of 2017, things were moving rather quickly.  Suddenly, life had an uptick. I needed to refocus some priorities and maintain momentum.  And just like that, January was over too.  Again, all good stuff and I hope this tide continues, however caregiving remains the riptide and it dictates everything else. So, here's what's been goin' on...

December 2018

Spoons

Hand carved, wooden spoon...

December was incredible for my spoon venture.  I sold 4 spoons at the end of the year and felt the pressure of filling "orders".  This still blows my mind. I officially opened the shop section of this website only a year ago and it's been so well received.  I can hardly establish an inventory but that's a production problem that fills my heart. 

In addition to selling spoons, I thought I would explore the knife business by selling carving knives to budding carvers.  In theory, this is great but the reality of shipping knives in the mail without proper blade protection is a bit of a liability.  Safety first! I needed to make protective sheaths...  Wha-what? Knife sheaths?!  As you might imagine, I was clueless, especially for this curved blade below.

Curved blade knife used for carving the bowl part of a wooden spoon.

YouTube was full of suggestions for straight blades but the curved blade left me stumped.  Insert Jesse, a good friend and owner of the Jewelry Studio of Wellfleet.  She suggested I take the leather jewelry class offered through the Art School at the Boca Raton Museum of Art. The logic here was that instructor would likely have enough experience in leather working to point me in the right direction. It would be a fun class and get me out of the house.  Sure enough, that's exactly what happened!  

Leather Jewelry Course

Honestly, the class didn't exactly fulfill my sheath dreams but it did solidify fun into my schedule.  I got so much joy from the creative process.  Learning something new scratched my own creative itch.  It helped break-up the caregiving monotony and the perpetual thoughts of feeling stuck.  This leather class reconnected me with my "old" self, the person I was before this whole mess started and reminded me of these wise words by Nayyirah Waheed in her book Salt.

“Where you are, is not who you are.”

— Circumstance

The class reminded me that at heart I'm a maker and my soul is forever analogue.  I fell in love with the process. Leather work aligned with my attraction to raw materials.  Something about it clicked.  Below are a few bracelets that represent the beginning of a brand new hobby:

Adjustable, yellow-dyed leather bracelet with eyelet detail.

Secured, teal-dyed leather bangle with brass and nickle eyelets and riveted closure.

Secured, navy-dyed leather bangle with assorted rivets.  Cause, I love rivets!

January 2018

#koolbob - Health Update

Unfortunately, it's not all fun and games. My dad was in the hospital at the end of the year. We made our way to the ER at 3 AM via ambulance which my hope is for the last time.  The event proved tragic for both of us.  Awaking to his health concerns in the middle of the night, I was forced to recognize the hopelessness of our situation as I too was sick.  Only hours before I was throwing up for some unknown reason.  Food poisoning?  Flu? No idea... But the reality was stark. We were alone.  I was slow to respond and overwhelmed at the crisis.  I called 911 somewhat unsure if he was having a 911 moment.  This is a frequent mental debate I think many caregivers experience.  Is the given episode worth the chaos that follows?  Am I ready to light this match?

True to form, that phone call was the match that started a fire, and swept us straight into all the misgivings of the healthcare system. If it were my own life, then I might be more obliging to the procedural side of things.  The parlay of treatment makes sense in regard to the longevity of health but not when measured alongside that of dementia.  My father (and I suspect many seniors that end up in the ER), became a matter of medical whims.  A test subject for assumptions...  The inability to describe what's wrong often leads to random tests, many of which are safeguards backing medicare compliance and have little to do with physical health and everything to do with who picks up the tab.  The liability on part of the healthcare industry is much too great and therefore procedural tests and treatments, (several of which I now know were absolutely unnecessary) have become the backbone in determining a diagnosis for many elderly.  This medical process of elimination is nothing short of confusing for anyone with some form of dementia and is often physically painful.  The excruciating cries, barely muffled by a curtain, are damages accrued to both the individual and their caretaker.  Where one feels the physically pain, the other is destroyed at heart, and the over all sense of hurt and suffering only gets compounded. It's these visceral cries that continue to haunt me from my mom's sudden passing.  These sounds I can't unhear...  Sounds that have been nothing short of brutalizing and ring all the more loudly when it comes to paying premiums.  Ultimately, my dad's hospital trip proved "minor".  He was discharged later in the day with a diagnosis of mild constipation and some acid reflux.  We were sent home nearly 10 hours later with over the counter prescriptions and I had a new headache in how to unwind the trauma he just incurred. 

What people don't realize is that managing dementia is the art of managing chaos.  Rather than implement chaotic measure at the ER, staff could better their services by foregoing some procedures and listening first to patients between their garbled words and observing their behaviors in their most basic form.  Treating through the distortion is not exactly "treating" a dementia patient and the health profession could learn a lot by just looking and listening.   Doctors will likely refute this statement but that illustrates the refusal to listen.  To truly care for someone with dementia you must first care for their environment.  Actions and procedures need to be assessed with regard to overall comfort because it's what happens later, behind the scenes, that ultimately impact one's quality of life.  

“To truly care for someone with dementia you must first care for their environment.”

When we returned home, my father's anxiety was at an all-time high.  He was restless, experiencing a new pain (urinary, because he was forced to have a catheter rather than water that would help him pee on his own), and agitated in a way that I found abnormal to his norm.  He repeatedly said he was in pain and dying, leaving me again feeling helpless and ultimately hopeless.  Somehow we got through the night and after a follow-up check-in with his primary, it was determined after he left the hospital (where he had an EKG) and prior to this doctor's visit where he had another EKG, he suffered a heart attack.  The worst part is that I think I watched it.  I saw it happening and yet remained inactive both out of fear that another hospital trip might in fact kill him while also taking foolish comfort in the idea that he would never have been discharged if his condition was at all serious.  His condition at the time was not serious but his endured stress from the experience went overlooked.

Long story short, I enrolled him into hospice care shortly there after.  For those of you that feel sorrow towards what you think hospice means, I encourage you to do some research. (You can start right here.)  This is actually one of the best decisions I have made and stand by their approach of patient and family centered comfort-care.  I'm happy to share more about this decision in the comments or through private messaging if you want but for now just know that this is a good thing. I'm hoping the hospice team will enable my dad to live his best version of life for the time that remains. I want to do small things with him when I can and I don't want to live in fear that taking him somewhere might risk his health.  He's almost 86 years old.  The risks are plenty obvious!  But I need to part ways with the burden of caregiver guilt and feel confident there is a team of health professionals that get us. We want to live life, not wait for its passing.  Thus begins our new forward perspective... and below is a little taste of what that looks like.

At the Boca Raton air field for the WWII airplane tour.

Knife Sheath Class

Ok, back to knife sheaths!  At the start of the new year, like a gift from the universe a leather knife sheath class was being offered locally.  (Wwwhhhaaaaattt?!!!!!!!!!!!) Clearly heeding the sign, I enrolled.  It was a five hour workshop and as expected, it was for straight blades. But, beggars can't be choosers!  I took my straight craving knife to the class thinking I needed a sheath that runs parallel to my belt.  Not the perpendicular style where the knife points down.  I wanted it across my lower back all discrete like a bad a**.  Granted, this is a work in progress but you kinda get the idea.  Just imagine this sheath like a rugged tramp stamp.  You with me?!

Straight knife sheath for my Mora carving knife.

Spoon Carving Class

Well, you know how one thing leads to another. It just so turns out that the place that was offering the sheath classe is interested in hosting a spoon carving class! Like a true act of fate, I met the fine folks over at The Guild Folk Art School and in a few short weeks we will be hosting a spoon carving class for the community.  I'll keep you posted on dates when we work that all out but in the mean time, take a look at their offerings.  Everything from blacksmithing to ceramics to knife making (you know that's next;)) and more!  Take a look. 

Darebee Exercise Challenge

Another new year high has been completing this 30 Day HIIT Challenge during the month of January.  There are lots of excuses I could have made to fall short on this goal but when my friend Erika sent it to me post binge eating holidays (which I continue to stand by!), I  realized, I had no excuse.  I could make excuses but none of them truly held weight and rather then complain or pass judgement on why this challenge wouldn't work, I just committed. I suspended judgement and expectations and pursued the challenge of discipline.

I find it easy to fall prey to the inertia of caregiving and neglect things.  What's worse is society almost makes the excuses for me... "Oh, go easy on yourself.  You have a lot on your plate".  That might sound reasonable but deep down I know when I'm being lazy.  So yeah... An experiment in exercise but more, an experiment in follow-through.

About two weeks in I realized the hard part about exercise for me is just knowing what I was going to do on a given day.  Good intentions are nothing without action.  This challenge told me exactly what to do and no equipment was necessary.  Bingo! I have no mental space to create an exercise strategy here.  Just tell me what to do and I'll do it!  So, I also pulled the trigger on this workout book! I figure, 100 workouts to complete over the rest of 2018 shouldn't be so hard.  That's about 9 workouts a month (cause it's February now) which seems more than manageable. And the no equipment necessary/can-do anywhere factor helps eliminate the obvious excuses. 

If you are curious what's inside I put an Amazon link below. It's the same deal at the challenge link above but expanded.  Also, if you have any suggestions for timer apps please send them my way!!!  

100 No-Equipment Workouts Vol. 1: Fitness Routines you can do anywhere, Any Time

By Neila Rey

As for anyone following my pistol squat attempts, just know that they are coming... one day.  Not sure why I thought I'd have those down in a month but reality checks are a good thing!

Alright, that has to be it for now.  I'm impressed if you are still reading this!  I could keep going but my soul is running dry from being on the computer this long.  I told you I was analogue. ;)

TL;DR- Life updates

* This page contains an Amazon affiliate link. If you click on the affiliate link and make a purchase, I will earn a commission at no extra cost to you. This helps maintain the cost of How To Feed A Senior. Thank you for your support.

 

A Twig's Life

I have a pretty big stick pile.

Leaf litter is slowly starting to accumulate around the house because I have "ideas".  I have lots of ideas...  Like any good hoarder, I see potential in scraps and find myself defending their storage.  As long as I do something with them, then they amount to more than trash matter, right? Or that's what I tell myself.  The truth is, I have a vision and that vision is generously being fostered by the fine folks at Knoll Farm where I am proud to announce I've been awarded a Better Selves Fellowship spot this August!  I am beyond excited!!!!!

My fingers are crossed that I make it to this Vermont refuge.  You never know the challenges when it comes to dementia caregiving, and deciding now that I will attend, will ultimately be determined in the hours, maybe even in the minutes before my departure.  But for fun, lets just go with it and assume I am going.  I am going!!! 

The fellowship is a nurtured self study of sorts.  Everyone attending will be on their own journey yet together, as a community, we will help each other achieve our goals.  My goal will be spoon related but more specifically I want to focus on carving.  And I don't just mean technique, although, I do hope to acquire new skills.  I want dive deeper into the other aspects of carving like knife care and sharpening but also the spiritual side.  I want to explore the intention, the meditation... 

“There is something healing in the process of making a tool with your own hands.”

I've long thought carving was meditative.  There is something healing in the process of making a tool with your own hands.  It's a placeholder for empowerment, slowly revealing that applied effort produces results and that ultimately, you can in fact do whatever you set your mind to.  It's so easy to surrender to hopelessness but the act of carving always provides a renewed perspective.  With each shaving you are reminded that you're closer than you think, a small echo in your head, akin to a mantra, tells you "keep going".  

As the shape begins to reveal itself, so do all the metaphors.  The "handle" usually appears first.  It's the comfort zone in skill development but then you get to the "neck" and the "bowl".  As with any neck, it's fragile.  You must maneuver delicately or risk breaking it, and I'm reminded of the similarities between these moments and life.  You go on thinking you have a "handle" on things only to realize at some point, your burdens are nearing a breaking point.  It (or you) might snap under the stress without care.  It's a reminder to nurture sensitive areas, a case not to neglect self-care... Then you get to the "bowl".  Perhaps you jump around while carving the spoon but I find the bowl to be one of that last areas of attack.  My students often avoid it till the end.  There is a different technique involved and it requires a different knife but non-the-less it's a critical component to making a spoon a spoon.  It's actually the single most identifiable trait of the spoon yet on the carver's journey, it's often left to the end.  

It's always an interesting pause at this point.  Questions arise as to what things we are avoiding in life?  What single task, if just accomplished, would make a considerable impact in how our days are lived?  What techniques or tools are missing so you can move beyond this block? Wait. Are we talking mental block or block of wood?  It's hard to keep up with the narratives...

I wish I could explain better the thoughts I have on this whole topic.  It's hard to write about carving and a general summery feels impossible.  I have so much to say but can't seem to organized the words for a reader and partly I think the words escape me because so much feeling is at play.  So much is left unsaid here and it's a huge part of why I will do whatever it takes to get to the Knoll Farm refuge and participate in the Better Selves Fellowship.  I know something there is waiting for me.  The mantra keeps telling me "just come"...

A Rhyme Within Reason

Is it just me, or are we all searching for something?  And by something I mean it in that grander, life's purpose kind-of way that has us all itching for a magic key that unlocks contentment. Contentment, different from "settled" yet settled in a way that allows the passing of each day feel gratifying, accomplished and with the favor of satisfaction that feels like we have earned it.  This is an annoying and haunting itch that scratches away reason and leaves a paranoid residue that times-a-wastin'.

I feel like I have spent so much time chasing down dreams, anxious to get on to the next thing only to wind-up lost and confused as I circle back to some original thought that I have long but abandoned.  And now, as I transition into this role of "caretaker" this cyclical pattern repeats, again, only this time distraction waits at a distance.  Without the flurry of my life's former routine I am forced to address circumstance while equally measuring possibility against the culmination of my experiences, skills, and abilities.  

I know I am smart.  This confusion isn't a matter of insecurities.  I have an undergraduate degree in Human Development and Learning from East Tennessee State University.  I have a master's degree in Central and Eastern European Studies from the prestigious Jagiellonian University in Krakow, Poland with a concentration in social transformation.  I am a Certified Natural Chef thanks to the Nutrition Therapy Institute and upon graduation landed an amazing gig with the Sea Education Association.  There has been no shortage of education or adventure, so like I said, my floundering is not a matter of insecurities. 

All of these things stack nicely in the job department but when you are a caregiver it doesn't matter much.  That dream job within grasp is an illusion because obligations on the home-front come first.  Try explaining that to your would-be employer.  Can you tell I have entered a deep pondering phase?   And it's one thing to ponder the future but it's quite another to give up on those dreams (aka: Grain & Grain) when the reality of this life and this moment, is the cage I must learn to live in.  There is no fun in dreaming dreams that hold no possibility and this is one of the biggest crimes against caring for someone with Alzheimer's and Dementia.  

As a caregiver, it's dangerous to believe in your own ideas because fantasies can break you.  I don't want to see the marketing materials full of smiling faces at assisted living centers or rehab hospitals or any other misguided sales pitch.  I want reality!  I want to see the real life of this disease like the moments captured by Upside Down Daughter.  Show me how bad it can get so I can understand my own capacity and develop a measure for when I need help.  I need to establish my own foundation and understand where it is weak.

The future is bleak for so many reasons but maybe those are projections too?  Maybe the face of pain is actually one of strength and all that work you managed prior to this moment is the foundation for a better you?  A foundation for a future that you are still building and doesn't need to make sense now because it's just the ground layer but its the work necessary to stabilize your future.  If I circle back to 17 years ago that Human Development and Learning degree really laid some ground work.  What at the time seemed the fastest exit strategy from college is now a tool for understanding aging, an interest I guess I have had all along.  That chef certification is used constantly and when combined with the human development knowledge I realize, maybe there is a place for me to help explain diet and age related illnesses.  Maybe social transformation exists within social media and these things are all working together to create my purpose?  Maybe Grain & Grain, my budding business idea of artisan bread baking and wooden spoon carving isn't a dream to abandon, but a passion to explore within the context of my current circumstance? 

What if we don't need to have everything all figured out? What if the quest for purpose isn't something you happen upon, but instead becomes you?  Like with carving spoons, life experience is a tool in the making, taking shape little by little until you have a handle on things and destiny is the dessert, a dessert you created yourself and is sweeter than ever.  Is this self care?  I don't know. I certainly don't have things figured out but as I listen in the stillness and try and calm the restlessness I have moments where I can reflect on my trajectory and I start to wonder if maybe, just maybe...I have arrived?